Posted by: thinningtheherd | October 27, 2010

#107 Government of California

Species Name: Incompetenticus Runthisstateintothegroundius

California is fucked.  We used to be the 8th largest economy in the world, and now we have a $19 billion deficit.  Thanks, Governator…don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.  Arnold Schwarzenegger did fuck this state up royally but here’s the rub, the constituents are the ones who put that asshole in office.  We were the laughing stock of the entire world when we elected “Conan the Barbarian” to run our state.  In essence, we kind of got what we deserved, and then we re-elected him.

To be fair to Arnold though, it’s not ALL his fault, he was Governor during the worst economic recession this country has seen since the Depression of ’29.  So here we stand, less than a week before our midterm elections in California.  A chance to wipe the slate clean, start anew.  It’s like sleeping on fresh, clean sheets…fresh, clean shits, covered in the diarrhea that is California’s economy.

Next Tuesday, seven to ten people will go to the polls to elect our new governor, and their choices are Meg “I ran an online garage sale company and that makes me qualified to run a state” Whitman, and Jerry “Get off my lawn, you kids!” Brown.  Really?  This is the best we could do?  Seriously?  Downtown Jerry Brown has already been governor, but frankly shit the bed and Meg Whitman hates Mexicans apparently.  After being so compelled to vote in the 2008 presidential election, eager to rid the bad taste in my mouth left from W., I would love to feel just as compelled to elect a new Governor of California…but I don’t.  Honestly, the Government of California has everything so ass backwards right now, I don’t know what to think, other than maybe we should just clean house in Sacramento, declare bankruptcy as a state, and take the credit hit in the form of continuing to be the laughing stock of the country.

In a world where the Government of California didn’t exist to ruin the greatest state in the country:

  • People would still be envious of Californians for reasons other than our weather.
  • Gary Coleman would’ve been elected Governor, died, Mary Carey would’ve taken over, and we’d still be in better shape than we are now.
  • Californians wouldn’t be left thinking, “Hmm…maybe we shouldn’t have recalled that Gray Davis guy…”
  • Film/TV Production wouldn’t be fleeing the state in droves to shoot in states with better tax incentives.  Hey California, you do realize that the entertainment industry makes up a buttload of the state’s revenue right?
  • We wouldn’t be the U.S. version of what Greece is to the rest of the world.
  • We might have people in office who would’ve come up with a brighter idea than thinking legalization of marijuana is the answer.  It could be, if anybody would vote in favor of legalization.  We’re progressive guys, but not that progressive unfortunately.

Regardless of whoever wins Tuesdays election, they’re going to face many of the major hurdles that President Obama is facing.  It will take their entire term to turn the tide if they’re lucky.  It’s shocking that so many government officials in Sacramento stood by with dumbfounded expressions and let this state go to shit.  Get it together, California!

But one has to have dreams right?



  1. Such a shame! Love this state, but you’re right we are fucked for the long haul!

    Arnold is still the man!

  2. I somewhat enjoyed your editorial until I sensed that you support Obama. Then you lost me. Talk about fuck-ups!

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