Posted by: thinningtheherd | August 2, 2010

#93 Steven Tyler

Species Name:  Overthehillius Giganticlipsicus

I’ve never been a big fan of this fish-lipped bastard.  I’ve always thought Aerosmith was super overrated, and found it especially creepy that Steven Tyler gave his daughter her big break on a stripper pole in the video for “Crazy.”

Worse than pimping out his little girl has to be Tyler’s recent decision to sign on as a judge on “American Idol.”  Come on, man!  Seriously, you want Paula Abdul’s sloppy thirds?  I mean I get Jennifer Lopez because she’s desperately trying to stay a tad bit more popular than her husband and socially relevant in general, but Steven Tyler, you guys are still selling out stadiums around the world.  Aerosmith might not be my cup of tea, but it’s plenty of other people’s entire fucking teapot!  I just don’t understand why you would do this.  You’re not hurting for money.  You don’t have a particularly good voice, although neither did Paula “Vicodin” Abdul.  And why now, would you choose to board this sinking ship.  It’s clear that “American Idol” is on its way out the door.  The Ellen Degeneres experiment failed and everybody loves Ellen, how can you resist a middle aged lesbian talk show host dancing her days away in a pants suit (sarcasm?)  I’ve been waiting for this moment Steven Tyler, and you whoring your services out for “American Idol” is the straw that broke the aging rockers back.

In a world where Steven Tyler didn’t exist to be the poor man’s Mick Jagger:

  • He wouldn’t be able whore himself out to “True Blood” next as a geriatric former rock star who desperately tries to hold onto his youth by feeding on the blood of the young:

  • No one would’ve had to feign surprise when you revealed back in 2006 that you had been suffering from Hepatitis B and C for the last 11 years.  A former junkie rock star has Hep?!  Get the fuck outta here!
  • MTV wouldn’t have played that goddamn “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” single on a constant loop for a year straight…aww, but in retrospect, it was nice thinking back to a time when MTV actually played music.
  • We wouldn’t all be left wondering if the song “Dude Looks Like a Lady” is autobiographical:

  • Tyler wouldn’t have had to slap his agent for talking him into playing “Father Christmas” in the Lizzie McGuire Movie.

Unfortunately, I feel that Steven is gonna be giving the backhand to his agent again in about a year when he realizes what a colossal mistake being one of the next judge’s on “American Idol” would be.  If you want to do a reality show, Steven, go on “Celebrity Rehab” instead because we all know you’re still hitting those pain killers, or else there’s no way you’d be on a world-wide tour right now throwing up leg kicks on a nightly basis.  Not to mention that everyone loves a good comeback story and I hear that Dr. Drew will hug you and tell you, “It’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.”

But one has to have dreams right?



  1. In addition to his fish-lips, his eyes are about 1/16 inch apart. He’s one scary-looking mother fucker.

    • you people are Fu***d up in the head. He is one of the best freakin music stars out there not to mention he is hot as hell. I think u are just jealous you cant be that talented and hot. Take a look in the mirror. It is probably more scary then you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • The only thing that would make looking in the mirror scary is if I wake up looking like him.. ps. he looks like he is from that movie Legion in the “Got Milk” picture!

    • pea brain. He has a lovely face and heart. The article is inhumane.

      • Actually not so much a “pea brain” as a poisoned brain. Being critical & judgemental reflects a poison which reasons “I must tear another down in order to lift myself up/feel better about myself”.
        Awareness is We are on a planet of one family, all brothers & sisters, affected by each others choices and conditions.
        Attempting higher choices ~ in a positive world.

    • Dr. James your just jealous because he is hotter than you and can sing better than you!!! Who ever wrote this blog your stop criticize Steven Tyler. Check the facts before you put it on the internet. If you are talking shit about Steven Tyler and he was reading he would be piss. When he was sick you do not make fun out of him! What happens if that was you? Or someone you love would you make fun of them? Plus I love Steven Tyler and the band! They are really talented!!!! 🙂

    • I’m sorry but for a 60 some add man he looks good and about american idol……………..HE SAVED IT….when they brought in Princess Minaj ratings DROPPED 19% the first NIGHT so what ever STEVEN TYLER ROCKS ALWAYS HAS ALWAYS WILL!!!!!and he looks mighty sexy as a vampire or what ever look that it too be I agree Aundrea…..he’s just jealous… to my husband LMAO 😉 ROCK ON STEVEN( he HATES to be called Steve)

  2. I think that this webpage…or whatever it is is sick. How can one person decide who should and shouldn’t exist? I’ve honestly only looked at one page – your Steve Tyer page, and I think passing judgement on someone you don’t know if rather immature. Especially making fun of someone’s illness – whether or not it was drug induced. You know what they say about Karma….\

    Good luck buddy

    • Thank you samantha. i think they are just immature idiots who are jealous of his fame and talent. He is a awesome person.

  3. I’m with you, Samantha! That article is not only poorly written but cruel and unbelievably judgmental as well.

    • Totally agree Shanon.

  4. Sam and Shanon,

    If you were to take a break from watching “American Idol” and playing with your seventeen cats, respectively, you’d realize that “THINNING THE HERD” is a hypothetical humor blog. Maybe you guys should learn to lighten up a bit. If you want to vilify me, that’s fine, hell I prefer it. Makes my day more interesting. But at the end of the day, I think Ricky Gervais put it best:

    “I’m very Darwinist about this. You do your own thing, and then you see if you survive.”

    And Samantha, really, their “sickness?” I think someone’s been watching a little too much “Celebrity Rehab.” A sickness is something that is out of your control, but when you first put that needle in your arm, or in your case, that Whopper in your mouth, you know exactly what you’re doing…

    • your an ass and you shouldnt be allowed to have a sick and stupid page like this . You are the one who needs a freakin life. Grow up!!!

  5. Thats kind of a cruel article for someone who has been in the music buisness for so long and has tons of fans.

  6. i love my self and my friends!!!! and of course the people…

    • Steven Tyler is hot and very talented. i would So love to meet you one day!!!!!!!!!!! I love watching you.

    • steve tyler rocks forever is smokin hot lives in my town marshfield hes a gift to us from god nobody can sing like him his children are good solid people hes a wise soul that noone can touch jealous much he gives and he gives long life to steven angels surround him

      • Interesting ! I don’t know much about Steven Tyler except that he must have done something right in parenting: Liv. I Enjoy Rockin’ out to his music. Perhaps I will read his book. There is Always more than reaches us thru the media…… Bio’s give one an in-depth view of a persons’ life, i.g. Boswell’s Life of Johnson. Slow to judgement, quick to mercy. A man’s life is more clearly seen by looking at his heart.

  7. i dont know what is making Steven Tyler so dam hot!! he is just so dam hot yo!!! I LOVE YOU STEVEN TYLER!!!!!

  8. Hey here is a phrase to the to the person who wrote the original article “bite me”. I think that Steven Tyler is showing the world what a wonderful, compassionate and caring person he really is by allowing us to see another side of him on American Idol!
    People have a right to express themselves in positive ways without some judgemental boob telling him what he should or shouldn’t do. The world is seeing a beautiful part of who and what this man is all about! I have been listening to his songs for decades and now my children are experiencing the love, magic and energy that he puts into his music.
    I think he truly is a beautiful soul and I love the fact he has a found a new way to share it with everyone! As far as the the 2011 team on American Idol I think their great! Jennifer Lopez is a stunning, powerful and talented woman and everybody loves Randy. They had 26 million viewers on their opening night and if you ask me that’s outstanding for national television! So to the publisher of this article take a chill pill and look in the mirror, what you put out in the world is a reflection of who and what you really. American Idol offers a fantastic opportunity for many young hopefuls and a great deal of enjoyment to millions of viewers every week. ROCK ON to all the people at American Idol WE LOVE YOU and thanks for sharing the gift of song ; )!!!

  9. Steven Tyler is not your usual beauty,but definitely sizzling hot…..
    Im sooo waching Idol … Idol rocks…

  10. Well what can I say all these years I tought S Tyler was full of him self but seeing him on American idol he is the BEST I feel like he is my best friend Our family have fallen in LOVE whith him. He makes the show YOU ARE GREAT Steven keep it up

  11. Steven is the best he really showed his true colors on American Idol one guy you can realy call a friend great values and what a kind person
    love ya

  12. There is an old saying.
    Those that cannot do the work as an entertainer become critics.
    Instead of being paid with money, in a lot of cases they get show tickets and concert tickets so someone else doesn’t have to write an article to put in a blog.
    American Idol has its place. I am not sure i need to have someone who fashions themselves a critic to do my thinking for me. Opinions are like bum holes. We all have them. The news media has been doing this for so long, wanna be anchor people have to attempt to find something they are good at. How about watching TV? One doesn’t have to think very deep to view a screen and run to the kitchen for snacks during the commercial.

  13. BTW, in regards to my previous post, Steven Tyler Rocks!!!
    I have always had disdain for most music and movie critics because anyone can state an opinion. Many of those that fancy themselves in “the know” do not know much about what they criticize and make it up as they go.

    • People may not like Steven, However He is ahead of most of them. He took his looks,talent, knowledge and made millions, while the other looser’s made nothing, have nothing, but criticize Steven and his success. How does that qualify to rate an opinion about something they know nothing about? Sound like sour grapes to me.

  14. The things that are said on this site about Steven Tyler are horribly hateful. Steven Tyler, as far as I’ve heard, is a nice person; in childhood he was made fun because of his lips. He is a person, like anyone else. My feelings aside, it is unbelievable how someone could say such hateful things about a person they clearly don’t know.

  15. I agree with anyone who thinks Steve Tyler is hot! I think he is very handsome! He is very talented and has certainly done very well for himself! Steven Tyler is a compassionate person and soul, and he does not deserve to be dumped-on.

  16. Another comment about people like those who wrote the article “thinning the heard”.
    I am sure that Steven Tyler has heard all this BS before from other shallow lack luster personalities. Having survived this long in the music industry, Tyler isn’t like these cry baby wanna bees who have nothing better to do than lambaste others success.

    I put these guys in the same waste basket with the tabloids. No, “Mr. thinning the herd”, you cannot be a real villain. Adolescent boys call each other names to feel better about themselves. I think you are a physically and mentally inadequate young “man?” (boy) wishing somehow to ruin someones day by trashing others. Beavis and Butthead were more entertaining.

    • I don’t know how all of you are getting directed to my blog, but I’m thrilled. Thanks for all your nonsensical responses. It’s good to be the villain.

      • And you make sense? Watch out for the men in white coats. It seems apparent you watch a good bit of TV. (Something, I have limited time for.)

        For me, it is beamed from outer space. Obviously you are having fun. I may drop by just for grins later on. Tyler sure does have a hot daughter. BTW if you look at Mick Jagger when he was younger, he and Tyler could have run an ugly contest.
        Both men have had women chasing them all their lives. Rock stars don’t have to be good looking to get the women. Just an observation.

        Is that a (Guy Falks) I see?

  17. No one can argue that Sarah Palin is prettier than Steven Tyler. Not smarter just prettier. She makes more sense when I leave the sound off the TV. I enjoyed the take done on Sarah Palin from Saturday Night Live. Wonder what trailer park she grew up in?

  18. Why are so many of you so full of hate? Self-loathing projected outward is what it is.

    There is 3 kinds of business in this world: your business, someone else’s and God’s business. If you are in Steven Tyler’s business, no one is at home taking care of ‘your’ own business. If you don’t like Steven Tyler fine – let it go. Go listen to someone else’s music.

    Go through life being less judgemental, more compassionate and respectful and you will lead a much happier life I promise you. Try focusing on the positive and not the negative in people.

    After all – the finger you point at others is ultimately pointing right back at you.

  19. steven Tyler is a very personable man. Articles like this reflect the pea brain of the writer.

  20. Steaven Tyler I think ur the best judge in the world don’t let people put u down keep ur chin up and ps I loved this episode of American idol

  21. Steven Tyler is still so freakin awesome!!! He is just what the show (idol) needed. What a great person to see and hear outside of Aerosmith. Way to go Steven!!!

  22. Lmao these comments are hilarious! First off I’m a huge fan of Steven Tyler! American idol lucked out by getting him cause the show was done before him. But this article wasnt as serious as people are making it out to be. If u haven’t noticed the article was put out before the American idol season started so the guy was wrong anyway. Straight jokes! Some Americans should never have been introduced to the internet. Get up and go for a walk u crazy people!

    • Finally, a sane person with a sense of humor…how refreshing…

  23. love

  24. you guys suck!!!!
    Steven is the best!!!
    He’s got an amazing voice, n u are just jealous, I mean come off it that crazy rockstar earns 21 million $ a year, n he is worth it, he deserves even more than that, just coz you can’t sing you don’t have to blame ones who can!
    Long life 2 the Demon of screamin’

  25. I was searching for an image of Steven Tyler to show my 15 year old daughter, who heard Aerosmith and was hooked. I can’t believe what I saw and my daughter certainly cannot. Way to go, buddy. Satire? There’s nothing funny about this crap. It’s brutal, unwarranted, and amateur AT BEST. Tyler’s music has spanned GENERATIONS, and he is a saint in comparison to much of the entertainment world. My kid asked why people are so “soulless”. Perhaps you can best answer that question. BTW: Take a look in the mirror- you might find the ugly staring right back at you.

  26. You have to realize this guy that has the web site enjoys being the villain.
    He isn’t jealous. He isn’t anal enough to be a music critic. He isn’t smart
    enough to stop jerking off to all these so called “shame on you for being
    bad” posts. Reminds me of a congressman that likes to send suggestive
    emails to women that have visited his web page. We all know how stupid
    that was. So, keep on polishing this guys ego with your posts. He is likely
    polishing his knob on this one too. (Pervert)

  27. LMAO! wow. I love folks that knock other people…. especially when the other people are much more successful, talented, smarter and sexier than they will ever be. You’re hysterical.

    Oh, and for those in defense of our beloved Steven, read his book – it’s awesome. Does the noise in my head bother YOU? 😛

  28. You’re just a poor washed up has been yourself if that’s all you have to do is bad mouth the most talented legend of rock in the whole world. You don’t see millions of young girls begging for attention from any other 63 year old guys do you??? Steven Tyler is the sexiest man alive and always will be!!!!!

  29. Au contraire, my friend. If we were thinning the fucking herd, we’d get rid of bastards like you! How dare you, I’m certain you don’t even know him, and may I mention he’s hot as fucking hell!!! Many females, of all ages melt when they see him. Not to mention he has turned Idol around, because Simon was just a fucking negative person who loved to put everyone down. Oh, let me guess, you like him. No wonder, you’re both heartless bastards! *Sarcastic laughter*.

  30. Your comment to Sam and Shannon about “playing with their 17 cats ” makes a lot of sense. Obviously the big bad kitties frighten you because unlike people they bury their waste. Lucky for you we don’t no matter how shirty of a person they are. JACKASS!!!!!

  31. Okay, you people leaving these comments to him are just being as “bad” as he is. I thought we had the right to speak our mind in this country? You don’t have to read anything. It was your choice to read it so deal with it! I found this hilarious and I find it more hilarious how much people actually find him attractive! The dude is a freak show, no offence to hi because I haave nothing against him, lets just say he had one too many surgeries?

  32. Well you’re absolutely jealous at him, every rocstar is awesome in his own way, Steven does not look like a lady in that picture you showed ( obviously you don’t have sense of humor), and the picture before that one where his ‘like a lady’ is fucking bullshit, plus Aerosmith rocked my childhood with the song ‘Pink’ and to be honest I bet he sounds better than you, his voice is special and always will be, If I had a choice to marry him or to be his high school sweetheart I’d definitely go for it, When you will me more mature tell me maybe then we will talk.

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