Posted by: thinningtheherd | July 19, 2010

#91 Ke$ha

Species Name:  Whitegirlrappicus Enjoysbeingawhorius

I’m just gonna put this out there…I hate anyone who uses a “$” in their name.  To me, that qualifies you to instant douchebag status.  But that’s not the only reason I hate this broad.  Not only does she use symbols in her name, but she’s untalented, and ugly on top of it.  For fucks sake, her first single was entitled, “Tik Tok.”  Listen bitch, nobody thinks you’re cool cause you’re misspelling words, it just makes you look like a fucking idiot, which I’m guessing is not far from the truth.  You’re not a 13 year old girl writing a text message, you’re 23, spell the words correctly.

I don’t know where the hell this chick came from, but she’s made me long for the days of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, and I never thought I would type that sentence on a keyboard.  People compare her to Lady Gaga, but Lady Gaga has more talent in her oversized labia then Ke$ha has in her whole body.  Before I thin her, I need to put this in a language that Ke$ha can understand:  “U fuking $uk, and it’$ time 4 u 2 b thinned from da herd.”

In a world where Ke$ha didn’t exist to reaffirm that white girls rapping isn’t cute:

  • It wouldn’t be written in the record books that Ke$ha’s hit single “Tik Tok,” hit #1 in 2010 on the “Billboard Top 100” charts, making it the first #1 of the decade.
  • Quality shows like “The Hills,” “My Super Sweet 16,” and “Teen Cribs,” would’ve had to find other equally quality music to be featured in their shows.
  • I wouldn’t have lost a little respect for “The Simpsons” for featuring making “Tik Tok” the first song to replace the titled song on a recent episode.  Joke or not, you should be ashamed of yourself Matt Groening.
  • We might have been able to put the kibosh on artists using symbols in their names, it didn’t work for Prince…

  • We’d have one less girl who appreciates an elegant pearl necklace.

I pity the young girls who have this gutterslut to look to for a role model.  She may admit that her lyrics about brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels is an obvious joke, but think about those impressionable girls listening to your music.  They don’t think it’s a joke, and instead will have cirrosis of the gums by age 18 now, how do you feelt about that Ke$ha?  I’m all for artistic expression, but when you put a fucking “$” in your name, clearly you are going after the teeny-bopper market, and you should realize that your over-the-top whorey exploits have consequences.

On a final note, why do you only want guys who look like Mick Jagger?  You do realize he’s 8,000 years old right? Here’s to hoping you get smothered by his big, saggy old man balls.

But one has to have dreams right?



  1. this sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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