Posted by: thinningtheherd | February 22, 2010

#56 The Paparazzi

Species Name: Lowlifeicus Scumbagius

In the wise words of one Lady Gaga, “I’m your biggest fan, and I’ll follow you until you love me, Papa-Paparazzi.”  That quote from “Paparazzi” doesn’t actually have anything to do with this rant, I just thought it would be both ridiculous and socially relevant to open this blog with a quote from a Lady Gaga song, so there you have it.  The actual reason I am taking aim at the paparazzi has to do with this scuffle between Blink-182 drummer, Travis Barker, and a photographer over the weekend.

According to the reputable news source, TMZ, the incident transpired as follows:

“We’re told it happened as Travis and some of his friends were on their way out of the restaurant. The agency involved claims their guys did nothing to provoke the incident — and that Barker had a run-in with two other photogs on the way in.  Cops were able to confirm they were called to the location, but wouldn’t confirm Barker was involved. There were no arrests made, but a vandalism report was taken.”

Here is a video of the incident:

Okay, so Travis and his friends seem like total dicks in this video, I’ll give you that, but once you click here and watch the video taken an hour before, you get more of a perspective as to why Travis was so angry.

So the great celebrities vs. paparazzi battle rages on.  Look, I’m a firm believer that celebrities know what they’re getting themselves into when they seek out fortune and fame…to a certain extent.  What I’m saying is that celebrities have to realize there are going to be photographers following them around, it comes with the territory.  But the douchecanoe in this video is what makes people hate the paparazzi and a major reason why celebrities are constantly trying to knock them the fuck out.  These guys are scum-sucking bottom feeders, willing to do whatever it takes to get their picture and sell it to the highest bidder.  Not only that, but these guys are fucking cowards on top of it.  Case in point, the above link, this piece of shit challenges Travis to a fight, while his daughter is in his arms mind you, and when Travis says that he’ll see him in an hour, what does this low life do, flees like a little bitch.

In a world where the paparazzi didn’t exist to be the dregs of the Earth:

  • Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed may still be alive today.
  • This terrible movie would never have been made.  Tom Sizemore as an aggressive paparazzo…irony?:
  • We wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see Bald Britney lose her shit:
  • Sean Penn would not have had the opportunity to make punching photographers in the face a potential Olympic sport.
  • The Kardashians, Lindsay Lohan and Heidi Montag would die from loneliness.
  • Harvey Levin of TMZ would have to stick to doing commentary on “The People’s Court.”
  • With US Weekly out of business, many bored housewives would be forced to get their kicks from starting their own fight clubs.

When these guys are asked what they do for a living, do you think they cringe every time they tell people they are a paparazzo?  Hell no!  These guys love it.  They love being the villain, mainly because no matter how much flack they take, they still wind up laughing all the way to the bank.  Publications pay these guys top dollar for their pictures because it helps them sell more magazines to those people who complain about how much they hate the paparazzi.  It’s a vicious cycle I know.  Unfortunately they aren’t going anywhere.  The paparazzi has managed to make the “5 minutes of fame” irrelevant because these guys keep taking pictures of F-list celebrities instead of simply letting them fade into oblivion.

Finally, Travis Barker made a statement yesterday saying these guys should stick to taking pictures on red carpets and nowhere else.  Sorry man, but no one finds anything interesting about red carpet pictures.  They want pictures of celebrities taken at the most inopportune times like when you’re trying to take your kids out to lunch.  Don’t worry though Travis, I take solace in the fact that there is a red carpet leading these paparazzo pricks straight to hell.

But one has to have dreams right?



  1. nd it all went down at the Calabasas Commons…hahaha!

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