Posted by: thinningtheherd | January 13, 2010

#43 Jay Leno 2 – DIE HARDER JAY!


Species Name:  Justgoawayicus Youunfunnypieceofexcrementius

This is the first time that I have felt compelled to thin the same person from the herd twice, but you’ve really outdone yourself this time you big chinned fuckface.  You just couldn’t be the bigger man in this situation could you?  You’re so fucking concerned about falling into obscurity you have to ruin what Conan has worked to achieve for his entire adult life.  Because your 10pm show was a complete failure, now Conan has to suffer?  You’re going to take Conan’s dream away from him so that you can have some piddly half hour following the nightly news?  You are the biggest, pathetic, sack of shit I’ve come across in a very long time.

Now I know I should be mad at NBC too, and believe I am, but I can’t fault them too much, because this is strictly a business decision for them.  Unfortunately for Conan, based on history, Jay is a proven winner at 11:30 for some insane reason, and Conan’s numbers have been less than stellar.  Although NBC should realize that it takes time to build an audience.  Jay’s numbers sucked too when he took over Carson, but then he built a following, and I’m sure Conan would’ve done that too if given the chance.

But I digress.  Jay is the true villain in this situation because if he wasn’t such a greedy attention whore, and if he would’ve just graciously let his show be canceled and enjoyed his retirement, people would’ve had immense respect for the man.  Instead, I fear the backlash will be epic against Jay, and it should be.  I hope people picket outside his studio if and when he returns to his post at “The Tonight Show.”  I hope people keep a bag of tomatoes to throw at Jay when they see him riding down the street in his Denim Dan suit on his Harley.  Shit, let’s send that Nigerian terrorist over to Jay’s house with a gift basket.

I’m going to refrain from posting a list of why the world would be a better place without Jay Leno for two reasons.  One, I did it in my previous post, and two, it’s obvious that we would be living in a utopia if Jay wasn’t around to fuck everything up.

I will end by saying this.  Stay strong Conan.  I hope you swindle NBC out of every penny they owe you.  I know there is a penalty worked into your contract that if you go over to another network and they pay you less than the $20 mil that NBC was paying you, NBC has to pay the difference.  If I were you, I would march into Rupert Murdoch’s office over at FOX, tell him you’ll do a late night show for them, for $1.  Then we’ll see how much NBC still likes Jay Leno.

Go fuck yourself Jay Leno.

But one has to have dreams right?

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