Posted by: thinningtheherd | November 10, 2009

#28 The Jackson 4


Species Name:  Shamelessicus Selfservius

Since Michael Jackson’s death back in June, many tears have been shed for the fallen “King of Pop.”  Unfortunately, instead of tears, the eyes of Michael’s brother’s and father have been filled with dollar signs as of late.  After the family finally buried Michael, more than two months after his death, the remaining members of the Jackson 5 and the slap happy patriarch wasted little time cashing in on the death of their brother.  Not only is a reunion tour in the works, as a “tribute” to Michael, but a documentary series about the family is set to premiere on A&E in December.  Is nothing sacred?  Even in death, this dysfunctional excuse for a family continues to mooch off their vastly superior brothers career.  I especially love that Joe Jackson, the proud papa emerges out of obscurity immediately after his son dies to appear on every single talk show and instead of talking about how much he loved his son Michael, he proceeds to use the opportunities for plugs for his record label.

Wow.  If anyone has any doubts why this scumbag was left out of his sons will, those doubts should be put to rest after watching that video.  The saddest part of Michael’s death may be the fact that he was surrounded by leeches that wanted to steal his money at every chance they got.  Michael Jackson was one of, if not the greatest performers the world will ever see and it’s simply horrifying that the other Jackson brothers and Joe are too concerned with their own self-serving agendas to realize that.  Logically speaking, to imagine a world where Michael’s father didn’t exist would mean that Michael would never have existed either.  However I’m confident that whoever’s sperm Michael would’ve been conceived from, he would’ve still managed to go on to take the world by storm.

In a world where Joe Jackson and the remaining Jackson 4 didn’t exist to ride their brothers coat tails:

  • Michael Jackson wouldn’t have grown up to be an 8 year old in a 49 year old’s body having not experienced the rampant abuse by his father throughout his childhood.
  • You’d think we’d be without such great songs as “I Want You Back” and “I’ll be there,” but little Michael would’ve been paired with some other black guys because let’s face it, Michael is what made those songs great.  The other brothers are definitely interchangeable.
  • Micheal would never have potentially diddled those boys also if he hadn’t experienced the damaging abuse by his father throughout his childhood.
  • Jermaine would never have been able to launch his explosive solo career…wait he had a solo career?
  • Sadly, this album cover would never have come to fruition.


  • The Jackson 4 + Joe wouldn’t be able to capitalize on anything their brother was a part of, including the recent popularity of “This Is It,” which they recorded background vocals for because they wouldn’t miss an opportunity to mooch off their brother’s success.
  • Michael wouldn’t have to turn over in his grave when Joe Jackson eventually whores out Michael’s children by marketing them as the Prince and Princess of Pop.

Like Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur before him, I think it’s safe to say that Michael Jackson will probably go on to make more money dead than he did alive.  I pray to god that the only person who gets a crack at any of that money is those children and Michael’s mother, Katherine, in order to properly raise those children as Michael would’ve wanted.  I fear that Joe Jackson is going to try his greedy claws on that money at every chance he can.  Hell, he’s already in a court battle to try and gain some portion of Michael’s estate for “living expenses.”  What a douche.  And please, Jackson brothers, don’t go on that reunion tour. I hate to shatter your guys’ world, but nobody gives a flying fuck about you without MJ.

But one has to have dreams right?


Gimme your money or I will beat your corpse Michael!



  1. Despite all the negative we have seen from Joe Jackson. If not for him, there would have been no Michael Jacskon or the Jackson 5. Joe created the group; no matter how tyrannic his control and behavior was, JOE created the Jackson 5 and gave birth to the Michael Jackson we know. If you research one of Michael’s last speeches he made, he noted all of this and credited his father. He spoke of why his father was so determined to make this work. One reason, he did not want his boys to grow up working in factory struggling to put food on the table. No man is perferct, so let’s not be soooo judgemental without knowing the full story.

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