Posted by: thinningtheherd | October 28, 2009

#23 WTF Halloween Costumes


costume9

My spidey nutsack is tingling!

Species Name:  Areyouretardicus Dumbfuckius

Halloween, a time for sluts to embrace their whoredom and stupid frat boys to expect to get laid dressed as a “Free Mammogram booth.”  Real fucking clever asshole.  I’m sure no women think you’re going to try and rape them with a costume like that.  Halloween is filled with people who come up with really creative costumes that impress the shit out of you, but it’s also a time when you see costumes and all you can think is, “what the fuck was that person thinking walking out of the house like that?”  You know you’ve been at a Halloween party or two when the above guy shows up and you proceed to find someone dressed as Wolverine so you can have them gouge your eyes out with their adamantium claws.

To these people say I say, WHHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!  You had the chance to wow everyone with a creative getup for Halloween but instead you chose to drive people to eat the dry ice out of the punch bowl.  These people not only shouldn’t be able to dress up for Halloween but also shouldn’t be allowed to be functioning members of society if they think these costumes are “cool.”  To make everyone’s life more aestically pleasing on Halloween, let’s imagine that the people in the following costumes didn’t exist to burn their image into your retina’s for all eternity.

In a world where these creepy fucks didn’t exist to leave innocent trick or treating children scarred for life:

birth_to_self

  • Dude!  Seriously?!  Nobody wants to see your placenta covered head emerging from any vagina, real or fake.  This dipshit should’ve been aborted.

costume7

  • Aww…little Adolf…adorable!  Now that he’s finished exterminating that juice, he’s off to finish what he started with the Jews.  Mom, Dad, are you fucking retarded or just Klan members?  Or both?  Kid, I’m sorry but you’d be better off as an orphan than with the fucktards that call themselves your parents.

fat-girls-3

  • Okay, just because you thought you were being clever embracing your fatness by dressing up as “Fat Girl,” that doesn’t change the fact that spandex was never intended to grace your flesh.  The material is only so strong!

funny-halloween-costume

  • Hahaha, oh terrorism, why do you make such a great Halloween costume idea?  You don’t, and if you ask me, that little Timothy McVeigh looks way too happy to be dressed as a suicide bomber.  Someone call the Department of Homeland Security, stat.

mrT

  • Dressing in blackface is never okay, not even for your Mr. T costume.  It wasn’t okay when Al Jolson did it, and it still isn’t today.  Although I have to say, it is a pretty good blackfacing job.  But I still pity this fool when he gets lost on his way to his Halloween party and ends up in Harlem.  Uh-oh!

r_1225471983_fat_venom

  • Why does Venom look like he’s about to crap out the baby he ate for lunch?  Imagine a fight between Venom here and the above Spider Man, his mortal enemy.  Enjoy that image in your head.

slide_3074_44502_large

  • Not only is the idea of posing as someone who enjoys boffing a sheep now and then not okay, but fuck does that costume look impractical.  Waddling around everywhere with your pants around your ankles, no thanks.  Have another PBR redneck and someone call PETA.

slide_3074_44934_large

  • Guys, costumes that highlight how big your penis is only translates to others that you’re hung like an infant.  I’d almost feel bad for the model in this picture if he didn’t look like such a douchebag.

vaginatampon

  • Guys, costumes highlighting the female genitalia are the closest you are going to get to said gentitalia.  Oh, and the tampon was a nice touch, you stay classy San Diego…

worst-halloween-costume-ever

  • If you see this sick fuck somehow maneuver his way into your children’s trick-or-treat group, call the police.  There are so many wrong things in this picture, I don’t even know where to begin.

worstcostume

  • Do you think this guy was racking his brain over what to be for Halloween, and eventually decided, “Yup, I’m going to cover myself in dicks.  West Hollywood here I come!”

pumpkin_ass_costume

  • Avoiding the obvious here, I’m more interested in what good friend put in the time and effort to create this Ass-0-Lantern.  I do not envy you sir/madam.

I don’t know what it is about Halloween, but it seems like a signal for people to let their freak flags fly.  That’s not okay, put some goddamn clothes on you fucking creeps.  It would be nice to know you could venture out on Halloween without one of these crazy bastards popping out of the bushes.  Alas, I fear people will only continue to get more bold with their Halloween attire choices and we will be forced to withstand projectile vomiting.

But one has to have dreams right?

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Responses

  1. Wow! Wow! I can believe these people are for real, but seriously are these fucking morons for real!

    • I’m afraid they are for real Thomas…I’m afraid they are…

  2. Holy fuckin’ shit!!!! I really needed that laugh!! MANY THANKS!!! MORE thanks if you can possibly figure out a way to eradicate people such as these! Have a lovely weekend!

  3. Uuhhh, I looove Halloween, parts of it I hate and these are great examples of the parts I hate!
    I was stumped and it took the laughter a minute to hit me!
    Where did you get these pics? Where’s the Armageddon when you need it, huh?

  4. oh shut up. i cant believe how sensitive you are over costumes. i bet you dont even go out on halloween because you have no friends to celebrate with. you probably whine and complain over everything, all of the time. thats just being a plain ol party pooper. yeah, i would like to see some more original costumes, deviate away from the media made cash frenzy that every holiday has become, but every once in a while, i dont mind a good laugh. if you want to tuck your fat ass in spandex, im going to initially cough up my drink, but then give a laugh that its entitled to. girls dressing like whores is completely impractical, because its cold as shit outside anyway, but if theyre naked in a cute little outfit, you, and i, and any other straight male and curious female will give it a look, that it deserves! people put themselves out there to be seen, put yourself out there if you want things to change. id be very curious to see a picture of each commenter on halloween and see what we get. if youre going to sit your lonely ass at home, youre not really entitled to dis other people. HAVE FUN! i thought these pics were funny!


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