Species Name: Lookatmeicus Lackingsubtleness
There’s something inherently irritating about people who have any kind of stickers on their cars. You’re not clever, nobody cares that your kid was student of the month, and I’m really sorry that Lupe Gonzales died at the ripe age of 21, but that doesn’t mean your car needs to be a mobile gravestone for them. Sure, if you want to support a candidate for President, throw a sticker on your car, but for god’s sake when it’s two years after the election, it’s time to remove the goddamn thing. There are so many obnoxious car stickers out there, I thought it would make more sense to share examples of these car tattoo’s to make you understand why these people need to be thinned from the herd.
In a world devoid of car stickers, we would be spared from ever having to see these dipshits on the road:
- Nobody cares how fertile you are. And why did you name one of your kids “Boogers?” I wouldn’t advertise that if I were you.
- Mazel Tov on your small penis. By the way, your undying loyalty to MMA speaks loads about your IQ douchebag, just sayin’.
- Why exactly do you want your car to look like it was involved in a drive by? Does it give you street cred?
- All this white trash mobile is missing is the giant rubber testicles hanging off the trailer hitch. Time for a trip to WALMART.
- The power of Christ compels you to get off the fucking road. Jesus Christ!
- “Hey guys, check out my sweet Darwin fish…I’m so irreverent!” You’re about twenty years too late to be clever fuckface. Enjoy your U2 concert.
- See above comment.
- What the fuck?
- I don’t know if you’re aware Calvin, but frequent urination is one of the tell tale signs of diabetes…you might want to see a doctor.
- Can the “got…” campaign just please die already. And no one can “got iceland” you fucking moron, it’s a country!
- You sir/madam, are a true patriot…and certifiably insane.
So many retarded car stickers, so little time. Do us all a favor, cover your windshield in stickers and drive straight into a dynamite factory.
But one has to have dreams right?