Posted by: thinningtheherd | October 16, 2009

#18 Balloon Boy’s Dad


Species Name:  Shamelessius Scumbagicus

If your workplace was like mine yesterday, you couldn’t turn around without someone telling you about the six year old kid stuck in the UFO-like hot air balloon.  I, like most, were pretty captivated by the story, genuinely concerned for the boy’s well being, but also kind of enamored with how retarded our country is.  Long story short, it turned out the kid was hiding in his attic the whole time.  Fine, whatever, he’s six, he got freaked out, and even though he created mass hysteria, I can forgive the poor kid.  Then this clip aired on Larry King aired last night:

Okay, now I’m fucking pissed…This slimy piece of shit father, had the audacity to use his poor kid as a fucking publicity stunt.  Now, some people are debating whether the kid was just nervous, or didn’t understand the question, but not me.  I could read Pape Heene’s face right after little Falcon uttered the words, “We did this for the show.”  The fart sound you hear in the video at that point is undoubtedly the dad crapping his pants in response to his son blowing his cover on live TV.  Hey asshole, that’s what you get.  Did you expect your six year old child to lie to the whole world so you can get on goddamn “Good Morning America?”  He’s six, he wants to pick his nose and watch Spongebob.  People like you make me want to vomit out my internal organs.  You sir, are everything that is wrong with this country.  Pathetic people trying to get their 15 seconds of fame at whatever the cost.  And the worst part is, you already had your shameless attempt at “fame:”

Listen Dick, and yes, that’s actually his name, you are not even worth a “thinning the herd” list imagining the world without you in it, because you are just that insignificant.  How dare you, in a time where there is so much uncertainty in this country, so much hopelessness, so much bullshit, you decide to be one more ingredient in the douchebag stew that this country has become.  There’s a reason why Americans are laughed at all over the world, because we harbor fucktards like Richard Heene.  Do us all a favor, build a rocketship to blast your sorry ass into outer space because you’re not worth to be a member of this planet.  No way this is happening though, because you know what they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, so now we’ll have to endure this dickhole going on every talk show for the next six months, and him relishing every single moment.  Uggghhh…I hate you so goddamn much.


But one has to have dreams right?



  1. Haha! Foolish! I love how the wife was saying they were looking in the smallest drawers because the boy can fit into anything. HAHAHAHAHA!
    So fucking retarded!

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