Posted by: thinningtheherd | October 15, 2009

#17 Rush Limbaugh


_thesuddencurve_images_limbaugh_oxycontin

Species Name: Obesius Jerkofficus

If I ever met a guy who uttered the words, “Rush Limbaugh?  Yeah, I love the guy, and totally agree with everything he says,” you know what I would do?  I would kick that guy square in the nuts.  I don’t like to resort to crotch shots, but it would just be a knee jerk reaction to hearing such blasphemy.  Luckily, I’ve never heard anyone say such things, let alone simply say they like Rush Limbaugh.  I’m confident that this portly piece of shit is a pretty safe choice to be thinned from the herd, because he may be one of the most hated men in the entire country.  I imagine the list of “People Americans Hate Most” going as follows:

395617 01_osama 1.  Osama Bin Laden (for obvious reasons…)

amd_rushlimbaugh 2. Rush Limbaugh (I’ll get to him in a second…)

spencer-heidi 3. Spencer and Heidi Pratt (ugggggghhhhh….)

8130 4. George W. Bush (America doesn’t forget, W.)

061221_rosie091707 5. Rosie O’Donnell (Her giant head makes everyone angry.)

Rush Limbaugh is so despised that even the St. Louis Rams, arguably the worst team in the NFL, rejected his bid to become part owner of the team.  Even a crappy football team doesn’t want to be associated with you Rush.  You know why?  Because you are a fucking crazy, right wing nutjob, piece of llama shit.  And of course Rush is now complaining that this “travesty” is due to the liberal left in this country, because Rush’s motto is, when in doubt, blame the left.  Jesus Christ, I wish you would shut your fat, donut chomping piehole or die of a massive coronary…or both.

political-pictures-rush-limbaugh-myth

In a world where Rush Limbaugh never existed to pollute our airwaves:

  • People who use OxyContin (or as it’s known on the street: prescription heroin) would be emaciated, sickly looking junkies.  (Only Rush could pull off being an obese junkie.)
  • People with common sense would realize it’s not right to make fun of Marty McFly’s Parkinson symptoms.  What an asshole.
  • Obama would still have become President.
  • George W. Bush would not have been elected to a second term because Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t have been able to brainwash the ignorant morons over the radio into re-electing him.
  • We wouldn’t have to worry about the LIMBAUGH/COULTER 2012 ticket…YIKES!
  • Climate change would still be a reality.
  • Liberals would grow as powerful as Gods, taking over the country and enslaving everyone in it’s communist state (Wow Rush, your prophecy came true!)
  • Ultra Conservative Republicans would still be fun to laugh at.

I commend the rest of the group bidding for ownership of the Rams for giving Boss Limbaugh the boot.  Even though it only fuels his fire for more bullshit to bitch and moan about, it’s nice to see someone not wanting to be associated with the crazy ideals this looney tune preaches.

What we need to do is convince Rush to get back on the drugs, in the hope that he will be found dead of an overdose and in bed with a black, tranny hooker, complete with a box of Krispy Kreme donuts draped across his bulbous gut.  Unfortunately, this guy is like herpes, just when you think you are in the clear…this conservative fuckhole rears his ugly head to infect you with bigotry filled cold sores.

But one has to have dreams right?

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Responses

  1. I think picking on Rush at this point is beating on a dead horse, but I’m guess the “dead horse lobby” doesn’t want to be associated with him.

  2. Man, those JibJab guys crack me up.

  3. In the words of Rush Limbaugh, you sir, are an idiot.

  4. This makes me wonder why everyone who hates rush is only able to attack his weight, and the fact that he is conservative, rather then creating a decent argument and attacking his ideals. perhaps if people could prove that his way of thinking is wrong people would stop listening to him. but no one can. all they can do is say “its bullshit” or, “hes brainwashing you” is he an ass hole because you cant prove him wrong? or simply because he doesnt agree with you?

    • Okay, how about this:

      Rush said repeatedly that drug users should be “sent up the river”, et cetera, then pleaded for mercy when busted on his own drug use. This makes him a hypocritical little bitch.

      Rush claimed Michael J. Fox was faking his symptoms. This makes him an asshole of epic proportions.

      Skipping ahead, Rush claimed that 1) eco-terrorists were responsible for the gulf oil spill and that 2) there’s no need to clean it up; the oceans will take care of it.

      Let’s pause on that last one. Rush had a crazy thought (people who like to get in inflatable boats and position themselves between whales and harpoons intentionally caused what sane people consider to be one of the worst environmental disasters in the US), he broadcast it as fact, and will NEVER EVER retract it. Oh, he also fancies himself a marine biologist qualified to speak on the effects of a massive oil spill on the sea floor. There aren’t even ideals to attack here, there’s simply an ideological position that he supports with CRAP THAT HE MAKES UP ON SUBJECTS HE IS NOT QUALIFIED TO SPEAK ON.

      The fact that he broadcasts his drug-addled thoughts as if it were fact to an audience who are lacking in the critical thought department makes him a dangerous lunatic.

      His obesity, in my mind, is the only aspect of Rush that I like, as it should mean he will die that much quicker.

  5. NO SHIT! it’s like, do libs have any fat friends? or do libs think that they are ‘liked’ by everyone? their line-of-rant is always fundamentally emotional and violent, without any semblance of rational thought or cogency. EVERY ONE of my lib ‘acquaintances’ uses drugs – Which makes me crack up every time I hear about the Oxy. And WOW! What violence! ‘Found Dead?’ A friend of mine told me years ago, before I too ‘hadn’t been mugged,’ that ‘it’s conservative’s automobiles that are always vandalized at polling places.’ Not one Lib who reads this will get the meaning, much less, implication, of that sentence.

    • I love reading statements by conservatives about liberals such as “their line-of-rant is always fundamentally emotional and violent.” It must be nice to live in a world where everyone you disagree with is automatically irrational. Or maybe it’s just that you are so personally infuriating that you elicit this response.

      This may hurt your head a bit, so try to take it in slowly: people who disagree with you may not in fact be wrong. I know, crazy, right?

      Here’s just a taste of how I, a liberal, think. Using drugs does not necessarily make you a bad person. Calling for harsh sentences on drug users, then pleading for mercy when busted on your own drug use, makes you a very bad person indeed. This is elitism at its height: the belief that laws are for other people. It’s the same logic behind giving crack users longer sentences than cocaine users, since most congressmen and judges are white like the cocaine users.

      It’s also the same kind of hypocrisy we see in the Larry Craigs and Ted Haggards of the world, who try to squash the sexual freedoms of others from the comfort of their closet. It’s repulsive.

      On the violence issue, the death threats against Obama have increased 400% compared to GWB’s presidency. It’s not that more people hate Obama than hated GWB, it’s just that conservatives in general are more prone to violence and violent rhetoric. There were no prominent liberals comparing GWB and his policies to the Nazi party (unlike Rush and Beck with Obama), calling conservatives traitors (Coulter on liberals), et cetera. This despite GWB’s suspension of habeus corpus, the secret prisons, torture and so on.

  6. Rush is the idiot. He is spreading ignorance and should be in jail for his oxy incident.

  7. I am not sure if any of you liberals read what you write. Since you all apparently love the liberal way I will quote your leader. Mr. Obama…. From his book ‘Audacity of Hope’.
    “I will stand with the Muslims should the political wonds shift in an igly direction”. I did not make that up. That is real. If that doesn’t scare the living hell out of you, you are ignorant, blind, and immoral.

    I am not sure how calling Rush names is any different than you being mad at him for the same reasons. You seem like you need to mature a little more, read a little more and form your own oppinion and find the REAL truth… no matter how “inconvenient” it might be for you….

    • You’re right, you didn’t make that up. Someone else did. A quick search on Snopes would have revealed this as the myth it is, and a simple thought experiment would have shown this to be false anyway. You’d think one of his rivals would have thought to use it against him.

      So you’re Exhibit A in the case against Rush. He wouldn’t exist without an uncritical and gullible audience such as yourself.

      And anyway, when did this become about Obama? Your post made about as much sense as attacking Iraq for the 9/11 attacks.


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