Posted by: thinningtheherd | October 14, 2009

#16 Incompetent Rainy Day Drivers


Species Name: Aggravaticus Dipshiticus

With the first rain of the season, comes the flood of incompetent rainy day drivers here in Los Angeles. What is the deal with these people? Are they afraid that the freeways will turn into a giant “Slip N’ Slide” with the first drop of rain? Hey retards…your cars are designed to handle a little rain, you on the other hand are not.

4th street slip n slide

Am I saying that you guys should be speeding down the interstate at 80 mph? Only if all you morons were on the freeway at the same time, so you’d be taken out in one gargantuan pileup. Driving is a privilege, not a right, and your driving privileges are revoked…for eternity.

In a world where incompetent rainy day drivers didn’t exist to infuriate my road rage:

  • We’d be able to get to work on time without sitting behind a zombie going 15 mph.
  • Many traffic jams would be averted without these dumbasses getting into accidents because they’re incapable of handling a little water falling from the sky.
  • With all the rainy day drivers off the road, no one would overreact to the first drop of rain as if it’s the end of the Mayan calendar.  In turn, driving would be a lot of a pleasant experience.
  • People wouldn’t slam on their brakes with no sign of a car within two hundred feet of the front of their car.
  • People also wouldn’t use the sight of red brake lights as an excuse to tailgate someone. Asshole, the road is soaking wet, maybe you shouldn’t be riding my ass.
  • You wouldn’t have to worry about some oblivious moron drifting into your lane because they can’t see the lines on the road.
  • There’d be no old people or Asian’s on the road, because we all know that they can’t drive under normal road conditions, let alone in the rain.

I long for a rainy day that I get on the road and don’t have to navigate around the sea of stupidity that is the incompetent rainy day drivers. Unfortunately, the rain seems to attract these dipshits out like flies on shit, and brings me that much closer to having an embolism.


But one has to have dreams right?



  1. I love this! and was thinking the same thing while driving to work today! All of a sudden people can’t drive and can’t see stop lights! “That’s right you jerk- I HAVE THE GREEN ARROW! STAY PUT!”

  2. I do have to say that the lane lines are impossible to see on some roads here, when it is dark and rainy.

    But I whole-heartedly agree with everything else!

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