Posted by: thinningtheherd | October 2, 2009

#11 Jon and Kate Minus 8


jonkate1

Species Name: Incapablicus Parentalilus

“Jon and Kate Plus 8” or as I like to call them: “Douche and Cunt Plus a Bunch of Little Fuckers,” may be the poster child for birth control this country needs. Now, I know you’re probably asking yourselves, why is the post called “Jon and Kate Minus 8,” when that’s obviously not the name of the show. Well, seeing as the blog is dedicated to thinning the herd of those who don’t deserve to exist, and to prove that my heart is not completely dead and black, I felt compelled to spare the children. After all, it’s not their fault they were born to those fucking nutbags.

Why is it that the crazies always seem to be the most fertile? Jon and Kate Goslin, the Octomom, Mormons. Would it be so wrong if these people were sterile? The planet is too crowded as it is, and these people can’t take care of themselves let alone crapping out a bunch of kids to raise. The worst part is that both Kate and the Octomom produced their shit ton of kids via a fertility clinic…shouldn’t that be illegal? For the sake of this hypothetical, let’s imagine that both Jon and Kate’s parents were sterile, and that they never would have been able to conceive the wastes of space that are Jon and Kate Goslin.

In a world where Jon and Kate Goslin were not around to give their shitty parenting advice:

  • TLC would crumble, because let’s face it, that show is the only thing keeping that network afloat.
  • Those children would never had been born, thus preventing 8 more future drug addicts and prostitutes from entering the world. (Come on, you and I both know those kids are fucked…)
  • People who have more than twins in any one litter, will be shunned like pariahs instead of getting a reality show and being put on this pedestal of fertile fortitude.
  • Parents would realize its more important to be a fucking parent then the star of your own reality show.
  • As with the disappearance of any douchebag from society, the stock of Ed Hardy would plummet.
  • There’d be one less raving, fucking bitch in the world.
  • There’d be one less emasculated, cheating toolbag in the world.

If you were in a desert, and came across someone severely parched, would you give them a sip from your canteen of water? You would? Well guess who wouldn’t…Kate motherfucking Gosselin…to her own child:

Sure. The kid may not have been dying of thirst, but to ask for water and proceed to take a drink right in front of her? That takes a special kind of cold-hearted bitch. As for Jon, he doesn’t get off easy here…Check him out in his natural element of tooliness:

You stay classy Jonny. Holy fuck! Both of these people are horrendous human beings and I can only hope that now that they are getting divorced, they will fade into oblivion where they should’ve been all along. Unfortunately, the media will follow this family through Alexis going into rehab for sex addiction, little Aaden being convicted for killing a hooker, and sweet little Hannah as she goes to set a world record, giving birth to 300 children at the same time. Ughhh kill me now…

But one has to have dreams right?

I want to eat your soul!

I want to eat your soul!

Attention ladies...he's single and ready to mingle!

Attention ladies...he's single and ready to mingle!

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Responses

  1. چطوری

  2. Gotta say the Duggars with 19 children are my least favorite family that help make our planet 21x less sustainable. AND you know it can only get worse with them cause all their kids will have 12 kids too and wouldn’t ever consider aborting a fly.

  3. LOL: “Why is it that the crazies always seem to be the most fertile?” I have said the SAME EXACT THING!!!


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