Posted by: thinningtheherd | September 30, 2009

#9 Tyler Perry


madea-jail

Species Name: Transexualus Crappymoviemakerus

Does anyone else notice that every time this guy farts a movie out, it immediately is a box office smash? Please, I’m begging you, black people, stop going to see this man’s movies. Tyler Perry is a baffoon. His movies are bad, unoriginal, and purport stereotypes of the black community. Not to mention that Martin Lawrence should sue his ass for stealing his Big Momma’s House character. Seriously speaking, what do people find so funny about a black man dressing up as an old black woman? Sure, I laughed when Eddie Murphy did it in The Nutty Professor, but that doesn’t mean I’d want to see it again in another movie. This fucking guy has made a franchise out of dressing up like a sassy, black woman. Maybe, since I’m not black, I can’t fully grasp what the black community finds so utterly fascinating about Tyler Perry, but you don’t see every white person rushing out to the nearest cineplex to support every goofy white guy movie. When we see a trailer for Good Luck Chuck, we know its gonna be a piece of shit. We avoided The Love Guru like the plague. And I’d rather have ninja stars thrown into my eyeballs then endure the waste of celluloid that is What Happens in Vegas.

I simply don’t understand the allure of Tyler Perry…but you know what? I’m sick and fucking tired of seeing his name on every movie, like he’s god’s gift to film making. Tyler Perry Presents, I Can Do Bad All By Myself, yeah we realize you suck, I’m glad you’re finally starting to as well. Nevertheless, the amount of directors/producers putting their names before the titles of their films has gotten out of hand. If you’re Francis Ford Coppola or Martin Scorcese, you’ve earned that right. However, if you’re Tyler Perry, you have not. Lets imagine a world free of this:

madea-jail-poster-gma

In a world where Tyler Perry would’ve had a couple of “caps busted in his ass” by his own Madea character:

  • Big Momma’s House 7 would become the highest grossing movie of all time.
  • The black community will turn to good filmmakers like Spike Lee and John Singleton to hand over their hard earned dollars to.
  • Mike Myers will reinvent his career by playing a sassy, old white woman named Marge. His movies will take the world by storm. Sad but true.
  • Lionsgate Entertainment will still have plenty of other crappy franchises to make their millions off of, like Saw and Crank.
  • Wouldn’t have to listen to comments like these where Tyler Perry wishes he didn’t have to play Madea anymore, the single thing that has made him richer than God!
  • Bigoted rednecks would have one less thing to complain about.
  • With all the Tyler Perry movies gone, it would open up 15-20 movie slots a year for ORIGINAL ideas. What an insane concept!

Here’s the real problem with Tyler Perry…people may think he’s got some important message to relay regarding the black community, but instead he is exploiting the them and laughing all the way to the bank at their expense. Some people may think, I’m generalizing when I say that blacks are the only ones who go to see Tyler Perry movies, but let’s be real, a white person at a Tyler Perry movie sticks out more than a black person at a Nickelback concert. Tyler Perry deserves to be thinned from the herd, but alas, he will continue making “groundbreaking,” “innovative,” and “hilarious” movies for the rest of eternity.

But one has to have dreams right?

Coincidence?

Coincidence?

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Responses

  1. The first Tyler Perry movie I saw, I went with a Puerto Rican guy and an Indian dude and everyone else there was white (I’m black). It was in Manhattan.

  2. People stop being so hateful and mad at this man for making millions! Obviously he doing something right!!!! Gosh give the man a BREAK! ANd stop being a hater!

    • Yeah, I’m Black and his movies DO suck. They’re the same movies with a different cast. Black couple in trouble/family issues, abuse, anyone not Black is bad/stupid….I could go on, but it’s too long. I think Thinning the Herd summed it up well.

  3. In light of his recent revelations of child abuse, ammonia baths, and beatings with extension cords, you’ve gotta give the poor guy credit for surviving this long!

  4. Great movie Tyler

  5. Since there *must* be an inherent difference between black viewers and white ones, I–a black of sound body and mind–will act as your interpreter. I will help you to understand our box office choices as being born with dark skin enables me to speak for a multitude of similarly coloured individuals.

    For us, Tyler Perry movies are like what Adam Sandler movies are for white people. Rarely will we find a good, engaging story line, but there are some good laughs to be had. I mean, who didn’t laugh when Bob Barker decked Happy Gilmore on the green, hm?

    Now that explains why we go, but I dare not comment as to why whites, latinos, hispanics and asians do and must since blacks are only a slim percentage of the US population (ie. Minorities) and our viewership alone could not bring about box-office triumph.

    P.S. Tyler Perry’s “Madea” character pre-dates Martin Lawrence’s “Big Momma” and Eddie Murphy’s “Grandma Klump.” Before they where movies, his films where plays that toured the ‘chitin circuit’ in the south. But, I couldn’t expect you to know that since you’re not black…and didn’t bother to Google it.


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