Posted by: thinningtheherd | September 17, 2009

#4 FOX News


Species Name:  Fascisticus Psychoticus

Once upon a time, there was a group that chose to present their nation’s news in a radically biased fashion, with complete disregard to what actually was happening in their own country in the hopes to keep national morale high…they were called the Nazi propaganda machine.  Nearly seventy years later, the modern day Nazi’s are the FOX News Channel (FNC.)  Sure, the FNC hasn’t carried out the extermination of six million Jews, not yet anyway, but their ultra conservative, one-sided reporting of the news is sickening.

Led by their very own Hitler, Rupert Murdoch, FOX News, has blatantly supported overtly conservative ideals.  From their blind patronage of the Iraq war, to their bashing of President Obama about every minute, insignificant matter.  FOX News bitches and moans about the country’s downward slide to fascism when in fact it is their own reporting that is more fascist than anything taking place within our current government.  I’m so fucking sick of these loud mouth blowhards on FOX News whose idea of conducting an interview is screaming over the poor democrat/liberal/non-Nazi, who has the unfortunate displeasure of being a guest on Bill O’Reilly’s, Sean Hannity’s, or Glenn Becks pathetic excuse for a news program.  Universal health care doesn’t breed terrorists jackasses, you do!  You are everything that is wrong with this country, and the reason why the rest of the world hates us so much in the first place!  Dicks!

Allow me to share my personal fantasy of how I’d like to see FOX News be thinned from the herd.  I imagine it being an Anchorman-esque news reporter rumble between the FOX News team and the Daily Show fake news team.  Watching my favorite fiesty Jew, Jon Stewart, stab Glenn Beck in the heart with a trident would be better wish fulfillment than Inglorious Basterds…okay maybe not, but it’d be damn close.  Humoring my fantasy, lets imagine FOX News disappeared from our airwaves…FOR-EV-ER!

In a world where FOX News isn’t on the air trying to brainwash America:

  • CNN wouldn’t be forced to slant their news in the direction of the left, just to be the antithesis of the evil empire News Corp.
  • Rednecks everywhere would cancel their cable, and de-evolve into the stone age by going back to screwing their cousins and staying dumb because there is no more “good American television” anymore to watch.  ‘Merica!
  • Republicans would have plenty more time to engage in extramarital affairs, solicit gay sex in bathrooms, and cram their hard drives with as much child pornography as their sick hearts desire.
  • Bill O’Reilly would be incarcerated after flipping out and murdering everyone in his anger management group.
  • Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda would surrender themselves having no purpose in attacking America anymore.
  • Keith Olberman is forced to go back to anchoring Sportscenter because MSNBC won’t have a need for him with no FOX News to make fun of.
  • Ann Coulter, devoid of anyone who will listen to her nonsensical babbling, will be burned at the stake as the witch that she is.
  • Glenn Beck would have to stick to solely beating his wife as a way to take out this kind of aggression.
  • President Obama would be able to focus on solving our country’s countless problems (thanks GW), instead of wasting time having to defend his remarks to media (ahem, FOX News.)  Remarks that prove nothing other than that Obama is a normal human being.  That Cambridge cop did “act stupidly,” and Kanye West is a “jackass.”  Get over it.  Our country’s in the shitter people.  FOCUS!
  • Rupert Murdoch and News Corp would stick to producing fictional films and television instead of fictional news.

FOX News really grinds my gears.  They’re like that arrogant, know-it-all kid in elementary school who you just wanted to punch in the face because it seemed like the right thing to do.  I hope this universal health care bill does wind up passing, but I would like to see a provision in the bill that states,  “No FOX News employees shall be entitled to universal health care, because they cried about how terrible it would be.”  If we’re lucky they will catch the Swine and Avian flu, and we can look forward to being able to watch blood hemorrhage out of their eyeballs on their own network.  Sounds like poetic justice to me.

One has to have dreams right?



Heil Murdoch!

Heil Murdoch!




  1. I love it. Be a sheep!!!

  2. I am all for responsible reporting on the public airwaves! Those that use the airwaves to deliberately and repeatedly use fabrications that are not true, are dangerous to the public safety and to the constitution that is supposed to guarantee our rights of free speech. Americans have free speech rights, … but not the freedom to shout “FIRE!” when their is no fire, inside a crowded theatre!
    The irresponsable reporting by the likes of “Glenn Beck” creates a “mob” mentality! A mob mentality that can and will (according to history) incite violence against those that are portrayed as different from that of the mob!
    Let’s face it! There are those in america that are looking forward to inciting a “RACE WAR,” and are using the public air waves and the fact of a black president to incite mobs to act violently against the government of the USA!
    You have to be blind to not recognize the conservative movement direction toward insurection of a pluralistic and multi-cultural america and instituting in it’s place what existed in our racist fundamentalist bigoted past!
    All of this backward movement toward our unenlightened past is being done in the name of fighting “COMMUNISM!

  3. A lot of these dudes are suffering from opinephilia!

  4. Excellent! I agree that the likes of Beck and Hannity suffer from megalomania, but Murdoch is a whole different bird. That man is on a mission, and he doesn’t care what the consequences are.

  5. Fuc.king obama supporters. Yeah, shut up, just like O’Reilly said. In fact – you can’t stop expressing your hatred towards Fox News just like you’d be some nazi bastards – you’re fuc.ked, I tell you.

    And start to tell fascism from nazism, you dumb idiots.

  6. Hey all you lefties….


  7. Liberals have no place in America. Please move to Iran. Commies.

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