#87 Mel Gibson

Species Name:  Crackpoticus Slimballius

New reasons keep coming up to despise Mel Gibson.  Whether it’s calling a police officer “Sugar Tits,” spouting antisemitic slurs, or punching the mother of his child’s teeth out, Mel Gibson never ceases to amaze and should be given an honorary Academy Award in the category of “Despicable Human Being.”

Last week, TMZ broke the story that Gibson’s mail order baby mama, Oksana Grigorieva, filed a restraining order against Gibson keeping him from having any contact with her or their 8 month old child.  The restraining order stems from allegations that Mel punched his girlfriend in the mouth in January, knocking out teeth and giving her a concussion.

Mel Gibson must be Charlie Sheen’s roll model on how to live your life like a complete douchebag and still get paid millions of dollars.  Enough is enough.  Something has to be done about Mel and his psychotic tirades, and if Hollywood isn’t willing to put the kabosh on the guy, I have no problem doing their dirty work.

In a world where Mel Gibson didn’t exist to manage to insult every minority in the world:

• Nick Nolte would solely hold the title of “World’s Creepiest Mugshot” with no run for his money from Mel Gibson.

• We wouldn’t have been able to see Mel’s insanity captured on celluloid in Apocalypto:

• None of us would’ve had to endure that 3 hour torture porn, The Passion of the Christ.
• Those of you who actually paid to see Edge of Darkness, could’ve spent that money seeing Taken instead, which is the better version of the same movie.
• The Gibson lineage of neo-Nazi’s would’ve died with Mel’s Hitler-heiling father.

Mel Gibson has managed to squeeze a lot of controversy into his life thus far, and I’m sure he still has some other tricks up his sleeve.  If only someone would lock Gibson up in some insane asylum where he belongs and throw away the key.  Alas, Gibson will move past this “minor” setback of domestic abuse, and continue acting in movies nobody gives a crap about, and directing movies that only appeal to the religious right.  The only way Mel might be able to get back in my good graces would be to do another Mad Max or Lethal Weapon movie.  Somehow, I feel as though Passion of the Christ II: Jesus’ Revenge might be more in the realm of possibility for Gibson.

But one has to have dreams right?

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